If I keep singing this in my head, will it become true?  Last night in her sleep our sweet baby dog, Belle, left us to go run for my Mom in Heaven.

How can I be so sad,  especially with the light of Harry’s great recovery and the imminent arrival of our next grandson on the horizon.    I really know why this is so hard.  She is my first dog (seriously).  Okay that story, my Dad hated dogs (no one living knows why), we only had one dog when I was a child and that one only for a few days.  Someone gave my Dad a dog for us (I am the youngest of four children), I was a in diapers and the dog chased me around and to Dad was harassing me (I do not remember this), so Mom and Dad decided the dog had to go.  My sisters and brother demanded a vote (so they say) and my sibs voted to get rid of me and my parents (usually very democratic) outvoted them and they gave the dog away not me.   So from then until this dog came into my life via my son, I did not know the joy of dog ownership.     I came to it slowly then obsessively.  If I could have taken her with me everywhere, I would have done that.  She became the grandchild we thought we would never have.  She was my companion and confidant through our family crisis in 2009 (Harry car accident) and her chin in my lap helped me through the loss of my Dad and my Mom.  No questions asked, she just loved me.  She listened and she distracted me from the pain.  Belle, the wonder dog, who performed at a KW awards event and chased every squirrel she ever saw and for the last few years, one of her main jobs was to protect us from our chickens.   She barked at them every time she went outside in order for the chickens to understand not to attack Harry and I. Belle has always protected us from 18 wheelers, she barked at every one of them we met on every road when she was awake.  In her younger days she would play Frisbee until I thought she would pass out.   She has stood between me and ANYONE approaching me for a hug (are you friend or foe, she wanted to know).    “How long before I will be used to this?    Keep me in your prayers today.